


The Sex

by Holy_Leonards



Category: Dragnet (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Arrested, Crack, Detective G String, Homicide, M/M, Maximum Sentence, Sex, Sex at the crime scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-12
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-08-08 06:26:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7746640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holy_Leonards/pseuds/Holy_Leonards
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Friday and Gannon take another Homicide case, but this time they don't quite catch the one who did it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sex

This is the city, Los Angeles, California. It is a beautiful place crowded to the tits in criminals and other unwanted individuals. Fortunately, it has a small force of good doers like me that try to keep the peace. You never know when they will come out and strike another decent human being, if they can find one here. I carry a badge.

[DRAGNET THEME]

It was 12 p.m. on the glans Monday when we were working the homicide desk. My partner, Bill Gannon, received a call that some poor geezer got his head smashed in with a graduation baton. We grabbed the car keys and booked it to our car. My name's Friday.

12:30 P.M. After old sexy and I battled the dreadful Los Angeles traffic for half an hour, we made it to the location of the homicide.

Gannon: Looks like we're here, Joe.

Friday: You keep those delicious lips locked up tight while we have a look at the corpse. I want them to be fresh for what might happen later

12:31 P.M I gave Gannon a wink.

12:33 P.M. We make it inside a grimy looking apartment complex and climb the several sets of stairs to the top floor. The room that the greasing happened was the last on the left.

Friday: What the hell is going on here?

Distressed Woman: Please, officer, find the man that did this!

Friday: Yes, Ma'am

12:43 P.M. After doing a quick scan of the apartment we find the baton and a set of blood covered size 8 shoe prints leading out of the apartment.

Friday: We are going to need more evidence than this.

Distressed Woman: Will you look some more?

Friday: Yes, Ma'am

Distressed Woman: What are you looking at me for, aren't you going to look around some more?

Friday: Yes, Ma'am.

Distressed Woman: Well, look!

Friday: Yes, Ma'am

Distressed Woman: find the killer of my husband!

Friday: Yes, Ma'am.

Gannon: Sorry, Ma'am, this is some kind of twitch he has. You'll just have to give him a minute to mentally work it out before he can continue the search.

12:55 P.M. Gannon looked around the apartment some more while I worked out my twitch. I must have yes, ma'amed a good twenty times before I straightened it out. Poor Gannon.

Gannon: Joe, I found something!

Friday: What did I tell you about wasting those fresh lips?

Gannon: Bring your ear down here.

12:58 P.M. Gannon whispered sweet nothings in my ear and then he suggested that we lock the apartment down and have sex in it. Kinky fella, always in for the good thrills. I decided to tackle the case of getting rid of the woman and locking the door while Gannon prepped the bedroom for some cavity searches.

Friday: Ma'am, it looks like we are going to have to lock down the apartment to be able to do a deep investigation.

Distressed Woman: what do you mean “deep investigation” and why are you winking at me?

Friday: Sorry, twitch. We need to have some privacy in order to lift up clues that would otherwise be impossible to lift.

Distressed Woman: Well, if it will help find the one who did this.

Friday: It will, Ma'am. And guess what?

Distressed Woman: What?

Friday: You'll need a body bag.

[Strong music indicating that what Friday just said was supposed to be kind of a joke, but also shocking]

1:03 P.M. I return to the bedroom to find Gannon in nothing but his birthday suit. My genitals appreciate it. I wiggle out of my detective clothes and shake my booty in the way that Gannon likes. I go into full lap dance as he pulls some money from the dead man's safe and puts them in my detective G string. 

Gannon: Looks like this case has you all buck horny.

Friday: The only thing that makes me buck horny is you.

[Strong music again]

1:15 P.M. Gannon assumes the position on the bed.

Gannon: You'll really like what I have for you down there. Its got pickles and tuna fish and olives and mustard and dog tongue and nails and gunpowder and semen and santorum and ham and cheese and coffee and boogers an-

Friday: That sounds more like a seven course meal than an orifice.

Gannon: Oh, its much more than that

[Slightly comical music with horns and woodwind instruments]

1:20 P.M. I am nose deep on Gannon's rear when he gives me the word to go in full force

Gannon: Joe! I think its time we get going full force.

Friday: Agreed.

Gannon: Wait! Don't forget the dragnet.

1:22 P.M. I slip the condom on and dive in. I rock and roll and slip all around. Gannon shows me that he is experiencing pleasure through rhythmic sighs and chants of hunger. 

Gannon: Footlong! Five dollars only!

Friday: That company isn't around yet.

Gannon: Fiddlesticks!

Friday: Yes, sir.

1:33 P.M. things get more intense as we near completion of the investigation.

Friday: Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir!

Gannon: How ya holding up, Joe.

Friday: Bill..

Gannon: Yes..Uh!..Joe?”

Friday: Who..Uhhh hiiippupupp...

Gannon:Yes!?

Friday: Who...carries a...badge?

Gannon: [DRAGNET THEME]

1:45 P.M. The sound of Gannon's alarm indicates that intercourse is over. Our investigation turned up a whole lot of hoopla, mish mash, and semen. No solid trail on the murderer.

1:56 P.M. Gannon and I get dressed and sneak our way out of the apartment building. The stairs slow us up and a black and white unit stops us at the door. 

Cop: Stop right there, detectives!

Friday: No, sir.

Cop: You're under arrest for homosexual activity and tampering of evidence.

2:33 P.M. We are taken into custody and put in the same jail cell. To get back at them, we engage in intercourse right then and there.

On September 13th, a trial was held in Department 184, Superior Court of the State of California, in and for the County of Los Angeles.

In a moment, the results of that trial.

 

Bill Gannon was found guilty of twenty seven counts of homosexual activity and one count of tampering with evidence. The State of California requires a sentence of no more than 20 minutes in a maximum security jail for Homosexuality. He was charged with the maximum.

 

Joe Friday was also found guilty of 27 counts of homosexual activity and one count of tampering with evidence. He, too, got the maximum 20 minutes.

[DRAGNET THEME]

[DRAGNET THEME]

[DRAGNET THEME]


End file.
